Thursday, October 29, 2009

Want to join us?

God is so good. I might not understand what He's doing, but I know He's in control, so I AM DECIDING to trust Him again today. I refuse to get in the way of His plan, so I will trust and obey. Yes, I need the prayers of my friends, I thank God for my friends as the verse I posted on Facebook for today says:

Two people are better than one because together they have a good reward for their hard work. If one falls, the other can help his friend get up. But how tragic it is for the one who is all alone when he falls. There is no one to help him get up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

We have a good reward. I know it looks dark and confusing, but that's with the natural eye. We have just been allowed to turn a corner into our full time ministry and yes it's a big one, a scary one if we aren't careful, for those of you who don't know what I am talking about, I will try to be as brief as possible. Yesterday Oct. 28th, Paula was part of another round of budget cuts where she has worked for 9 1/2 years. This job was given to her by God back in 2000, this job allowed us to move to Georgia and pursue our fulltime ministry, it gave us the flexibility to home school our kids, take advantage of a home based business opportunity and allowed me to be a stay at home dad…

Some of you know the struggles we have been “blessed” with these last 10 years, because of this decision. It has not been an easy road for any of us, I could write a full blog about this, it’s not a decision to be made or taken lightly and I would be more then willing to discuss this with anyone, but the bottom line is that God told me to do this, He NEVER told me it would be easy, but He promised it would be worth it and I HAD TO BE OBEDIENT, I am accountable to no one but my Father. I have struggled with satan on a daily bases and continue to do so, but my Lord will be victorious. I have fought this fight with many dear friends at my side, standing with me, praying for me and listening to me complain and watching me struggle without having answers for me, or thinking they had the answer, but it was just the wrong time. I know they meant well and got frustrated with me because their solution was not my solution. I know how frustrating it can be to give advice that’s not received, I heard all the advice and for those of you who think I ignored you to do my own thing, I didn’t. I heard it all, took it to my Father, prayed about it, stored it for later and yes, I did try to ignore some of it, because it wasn’t what I wanted to hear at that moment or I hadn’t made myself clear in expressing the real problem, but I thanked God for the advice given.

So here we are looking to Him and leaning not on our own understanding. I invite you to join us on this journey as God is about to do some stuff we might not understand. He asked me a long time ago to wait on Him and I’m not claiming to have received any kind of epiphany or vision. I wish I could say that last night God opened my eyes and showed me that it was going to be alright. He didn’t. I slept fine, just your normal weird dreams with no hidden meaning…that I know of at this time, but I woke up this morning and had to make the decision to trust Him. I pray that this corner we have turned opens up to both of us being allowed to work full time in our ministry. Paula has been attending classes for the last three years to obtain her ministerial credentials. She has a gift that can take her anywhere, she is a teacher and a trainer, she is sought after as an expert in numerous fields, she has already been approached by someone who attended one of her recent classes, asking if they could partner together on a project. The last couple years she has had to decline invitations to speak at or train for different groups with income opportunities, because of the conflict with her position. Now that door is open and she can take these opportunities to do contract work on behalf of Sweetrees. I still have no clear direction to what He wants me to do TODAY. I have been a stay-at-home dad officially for the last 12 years and the five years prior to this I was paid to be a parent with Paula at a residential care facility. The years before were spent trying to find my self or my career… I never received any training that could be marketed today. So the idea that I could just go out and get a job causes some real issues. I know I have been called to minister, to pray, to be a watchman, so I am excited about and I look forward to any opportunity where I can serve. Again I say thank you to all my friends, both near and far who have walked Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 with me or have allowed me to walk with them. Because “Two people are better than one because together they have a good reward for their hard work. If one falls, the other can help his friend get up. But how tragic it is for the one who is all alone when he falls. There is no one to help him get up.” I refuse to allow anyone to be alone. It may not produce a paycheck and it may not make sense to those looking in from the outside, at our “situation” but it is what I am called to be…Jenoah… Noah sounds like the Hebrew word for “rest” I am called to help you find rest in His name. I may struggle with this ability myself, I am no Superman, I am human and I am weak, therefore I will REQUIRE you to be patient with me, as we walk together and I will be patient with you. I may not have the answer…as a matter of fact I guarantee I won’t have the answer, but I know the One who does and I will pray with and for you to hear that answer when He is ready to give it. I will listen and I will pray. I’m not good at picking up the phone to call you, I am praying for that gift, but until then, I am here by email, Facebook, phone call (you might need to leave a message on my voice mail) or in person. You are not wasting my time when you need to vent, dump or just share…my time is His time. If I don’t answer the phone or get right back to you, it’s because I am either busy spending time with God, with my family, or with another friend…

So are you ready to walk with us and see what God is doing? I promise you it won’t be boring…

(fyi: my “watching and praying…always.” tag.)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Preparing to meet with the Judge (aka The King)

August 18, 2009

This Friday, after what feels like a life time sentence, I am getting an audience with the judge. I have pleaded my case on my knees more times then I can count, I have filed what I thought was all the appropriate paperwork, I have tried to handle my own case for the most part, only reaching out to others on occasion, asking them to plead with me or give me a word of encouragement, some advice, some hope for my future... But every time I enter the room where the Judge should be, I leave feeling even more empty then when I entered. I have all the rules or guide lines for living in this world, I have tried to read all of them, but I will be honest, I don't always understand them. I have sat in millions of classes to be taught how to walk in freedom, how to be a "freeman" employed in the service of the Judge...the King. Working for and beside Him, instead of being a prisoner under the warden of this world. I have appealed to the Judge for His pardon, His forgiveness, for an early release date. I have been and I am more then willing to work of my debt, but my pleas always seem to be set aside, ignored or forgotten. My daily needs are always met to some level, I have always been kept safe, fed and taken care the stray cat on our front porch…

I get 2 meals a day and a safe place to sleep...with an occasional scratch behind the ear or maybe even played with for a few minutes...but always denied access to the house where life is lived, where there is joy and happiness. Sometimes I sit on the porch step and I can see inside the large front window and someone will look out at me and smile and wave and then they remember that no one has fed me, so one of them will come out with a bowl of food and some fresh water...with the promise of some attention... But then they go back inside and if I am following to closely, I get the shoe and told to stay outside...and then the door is shut... I am fed and I am safe, but am I really happy? Should I venture off the porch? Should I go exploring, looking to see if there is a better life off the porch? What if there isn't anything better, what if I leave the porch and find out that life isn't better out there? Then what if I return only to find out that since I left the family inside the house decided to stop feeding me or worse what if I return to find that there is another stray living in my spot, not welcome on the porch I stay safe, but not happy, always longing for and hoping that someday, if I am well behaved I just might get to go inside, to stay...

So back to my appointment on Friday. I found a [lawyer] who has briefly looked over my case and agrees that there is an influence, someone or something blocking my pleas, messing with my case, keeping me from receiving that pardon. It has taken some doing to pull this meeting together, apparently whoever has been blocking my case has the ability to mess with my lawyers schedule as well. Now I sit here somewhat fearful, of the unknown, afraid to have high expectations. My faith in the Judge and His power and ability gives me hope that on Friday I could walk in a captive spirit, bound by chains and walk out a freeman... But then my history or "reality" kicks in and my doubt tells me that this could actually be just the beginning of my appeals process... This could be the meeting that starts the ball rolling, that I could walk out of the meeting feeling the same with only the "hope" a REAL hope but just hope nonetheless that I will be free...sometime, someday, in the future, so "don't give up. I've read your case, your file and now that YOU recognize who or what that captive spirit is, you can start working on removing (it)" I know that the Judge is not blind to my situation, my case, I know without a doubt that He knows all... But He is a gentleman, and has given me the freedom of choice. But having lived all these years not knowing what or why I was captive or kept-ive “kept from His blessings, kept from His call on my life”. I know, without a doubt that I have opened doors that I should not have, that I have allowed evil, the enemy to enter into my life…that I am guilty of the crimes I am accused of. (for we are all sinners…)

But, if I walk away from this meeting on Friday with just the "promise" or confirmation that I will be free... I'm afraid of the disappointment. That would feel like to me like the prisoner with a life sentence who after 40 years of pleading and believing that he was going to be set free "soon", has this meeting and is told "Ok, NOW we can start the process... of course this will require a lot of work, time and patience. This could be as quick as a few days, weeks, months or even years...depending on your behavior and willingness to learn and allow the process to play out. But hey, don't give up, at least now you have official confirmation and a game plan..." I am way too tired, I just don't think I can handle that.

So that is my fear for Friday, I am afraid to get my hopes up and afraid of sabotaging it by not having enough faith in God...

Preparing to meet the Judge. I admit my fears, but I trust the King.

Monday, May 4, 2009

The empty cupboard isn't always as it appears...

Pappa Hubard went to his cupboard and at first glance, it sure did look bare, for breakfast... But then remembering God's grace and favor, he looked deeper and found two packets of pancake mix and then digging deeper, found that birthday gift his son bought for him a year ago at a yard sale...a waffle maker... Now he and the 4 kids are not just full...but very content! Thank you, Father!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Hey what's new?

Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

Kyle's has posted his latest blog, but I warn you…you will laugh and then realize that your are also being challenged… So why not challenge or encourage him by leaving a comment, he will appreciate it.

I also need to thank God for a wonderful, grace filled day. Our church had their yard sale today to raise funds for our annual Harvest Festival, which if you have never been you are missing the best community event…everything is free and it's a fun alternative for the whole family on Halloween. Anyway, last night we had a heavy storm come through and they were calling for more storms today, but we just prayed and got up at 5:30 am ready to have a great day. We set up an Usborne Booth, under our tent…just in case and ended up needing it to keep the sun off us instead of the rain. The weather was great. But we have to admit that we really didn't expect a lot of sales, after all this was a yard sale event attracting the bargain hunters, but with God's favor we had a great day, our books sell themselves, they are of the highest quality and our customers recognize this fact. Of course we had a few who tried to talk our prices down, can’t blame them, but when we told them we couldn't they understood and bought anyway. So after 8 hours we had a very beneficial day, we were blessed and in turn we are able to bless our church. This is a direct result in our being faithful on Thursday, Payday…in these tough times, our income is not enough to cover our bills, but we were determined to be faithful to God and pay our tithes before paying our bills… Having no idea how this was going to work, but we know that if we are faithful, He will show us favor. Not 4 hours later we got a call from a customer who we never had contact with, but heard about our books through another customer. She wants to hold a book sale at her apartment club house, not so she can get free books or to get free books for the complex but just as a community outreach…when she heard that she could earn free books she decided that they will find charity that they could bless. But the bottom line here is that we didn't have to do anything to earn this event, no phone call or visit made on our behalf. God is so good. Then on Friday Paula went to work an event with our supervisor and we were blessed with two recruits who wanted to join this business. So here we are three days after being faithful and we have rec'd favor all three days… Praise God!

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Friday, April 24, 2009

Ever feel like the wart on the body of Christ?

I do, but I have learned that I need to pray the word of God over my life everyday, I need to decree it over my life everyday and pray in tongues fervently…everyday. When I don't "feel any emotions" its hard to pray this way, because there's no motivation for it…so I need to CHOOSE by faith to pray anyway. To live and pray out of the spirit and remind myself that I am the head and not the tail, that I am above and not beneath…that I am more then a conquer through Christ. Then I will be seated in the heavenly places with Christ. I have been given the authority in Jesus and I have the prayer power to release heavens glory into the earth, into my finances and into my home and family, to release the power of salvation into my lost and unsaved family and friends, to release the power of healing into the sick and the power of freedom into those who are tormented… This is living in the truth that is in the spirit.

- Words of wisdom I gleaned from Third Heaven Intercession by Patricia King

Monday, April 6, 2009

The flies in our lives

My three old little girl woke me up at 4:30 am, screaming as she came running into our room "There's a bee in my room and it's getting me...!" This woke me up real fast, I grabbed her pulling her into the bathroom to turn the light on, so I could see her, searching for a bee, a sting mark, anything. I couldn't see anything so I asked her where did the bee get you? She answered "In my room." OK, so no bee on her and no sting, so we headed to her room, I was a little calmer now, but still not sure what to expect, there could be a bee or several bees and to be honest, I don't like bees, not any bee or wasp I don't like them. As I entered her room the light was already on so I could see clearly, but no sign of any bee... Then Zoom, I was side swiped, it was a "fly by"...I quickly ducked to avoid contact and was able to focus on the attacker. It was not a bee, but a fly. One of those big ones that are real loud, sounds like a jet plane flying by at top speed or like being at the race track... Now I should have been set at ease and I was, but it was also 4:30 am so I was also a little bit frustrated. Until I looked down into the face of my little girl, looking up at me with real terror in her face, to her this fly was a bee and it was out to get her, but daddy was here now to rescue her, at this point all I wanted to do was smash that fly, but he was too quick and I didn't want to end up looking like a Donald Duck cartoon smashing everything in the room to kill one little fly! So instead I tucked her back in her bed and I got all theological on her, trying to explain how much God loves her and will always protect her, asking her if she trust me and believes me. She had this blank look on her face and kept pointing out that the bee...or fly was still here and still after her. I did give that fly something to think about, I flapped a book around the room wildly in the air as he kept swooping at me, just hoping for a lucky shot. At one point it seemed to work, he flew away, but of course after I left her to crawl back into my bed, with the assurance that all was going to be ok, she was back at my bedside to tell me that the bee was back to her room and back to my speech, that was when she interrupted me with the most innocent look on her face and a smile, pointing to at her closet, she saw the four little angel plaques over her closet door and said "see my angels are protecting me!" Don't know what I was thinking, she just needed to SEE with her own eyes, not all the talk. Guess we all get like that at times. Afraid of the flies in our lives (hey that rhymes?) just wanting to see that His angels are watching over us. Thanks Jamie and thanks God for the reminder. O1O.

My family

My family